In a first position paper, the Ibn Rushd-Goethe mosque dealt with the question of divorce in Islam. Quite often we receive inquiries and especially the divorce law for women is of great interest to many people.
The paper outlines how our community deals with divorce, what Qur’anic verses we base our decision on, and what role the mosque plays in a divorce process.
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I. Mildness and kindness on both sides
A divorce means the end of a life’s dream that was made to last and must now be considered to have failed. What one partner interprets as liberation, the other may see as personal failure, or feel lonely and abandoned. All persons involved are therefore to be accompanied by spiritual care with love and mercy if they so desire. A list of counselling centres is attached to this position paper.
The emphasis on divine punishments and restrictions should be abandoned and instead a positive approach and the possibilities of new life plans should be emphasised. A lasting leniency and kindness of the separating partners towards each other is part of the goal of a divorce. This is based on the desire to create a society worth living in and on the requirement of fairness and goodness of the Koran (Koran 2:229).
II. Everyone has the right to dissolve their marriage
It is an unalterable position of our congregation that both men and women, or same-sex partners joined in marriage, can file for divorce.
Both forced marriages and marriages of convenience can be dissolved – even on the basis of a unilateral wish. However, we consider it desirable not to end a marriage lightly, but to seek possible solutions in accordance with Qur’an 4:35:
“And if you have reason to fear that a rupture may arise between a couple, appoint an arbiter from his relatives and an arbiter from her relatives; if they both want to put things right, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed omniscient.”
Reconciliation is not an unimportant aspect of Islamic thought; it is not sinful for either to speak out in favour of reconciliation. But if there is a firm decision to divorce, we will support this act (Qur’an 2:227): “But if they remain determined to divorce, Allah is indeed hearing and knowing.”
If one or both spouses so desire, a religious divorce can be carried out at our mosque. However, we only perform this religious divorce if a divorce certificate from a German court is available, i.e. the marriage has already been legally divorced. This means that both the waiting period and the custody are governed by civil law and will not be challenged by us.
Marriages that were only entered into for religious reasons have no legal validity in Germany. However, as there are more and more requests from people who have only been married religiously in their home countries and for whom a religious divorce is spiritually important, we also offer these people the opportunity to divorce in our mosque in the presence of witnesses. Such a divorce has only religious effects, not legal ones. If both parties wish, it is also possible to have this Islamic divorce confirmed by us in writing, whereby this confirmation only has religious effect, never one of civil law. The prerequisite for this is that both partners are present and that neither partner nor any children can expect financial or non-financial disadvantages from such a divorce.
III. Waiting and reflection period
On the basis of our general life experience, we assume that, in the case of a marriage of convenience, couples do not wish for divorce thoughtlessly, but that a certain amount of suffering in the marriage precedes it.
However, in order to make sure that spouses who wish to divorce have the strength and stamina to go into themselves in order to make a good decision based on their minds and hearts, we insist on a certain waiting and reflection period which must be observed before the divorce is carried out.
Since we only divorce if the marriage was previously divorced in court, there is no need to set up an Islamic waiting period, as the year of separation applicable under German law is considerably longer than the Islamic waiting period of 4 months. A waiting period of one year therefore applies in Germany.
IV. Spouses and children are the focus
While the welfare of the family and the marital community plays a role in the run-up to the final decision, in the end, the welfare of the children and the parents is the most important consideration in the divorce process. Both spouses should agree here in the interest of the child’s welfare on how custody and child support are to be regulated (see Koran 2:233). While Islam and the Koran provide a theological and pastoral basis for Muslims in this respect, the regulation of custody and maintenance in Germany is subject to the state in the divorce proceedings. We therefore understand a mosque as a place of spiritual guidance, but not as a place of legal regulation.
V. Morning offering (bridal offering)
Often, one aspect of divorce in Islam is the morning gift. The morning gift described in the Koran is a gift from the husband to the wife and is intended to serve as security for the wife in case of a divorce. It is negotiated and paid out before the marriage. When the Koran was revealed, it obviously served as a social and financial security for the wife. Regardless of whether the morning gift is given to the woman as a whole or in two halves, this must not lead to the suspension of the right to divorce later on. Even if the woman should have spent all the money for her own pleasure, this should not be reclaimed or a divorce refused on this ground. In today’s modern society the morning gift is a voluntary gift, and its return is also completely voluntary. For all types of financial gifts and agreements that are intended to have civil validity in divorce proceedings, we recommend a marriage contract or an agreement on the consequences of divorce.
VI Annex: Divorce counselling centres
Consultation also possible in Arabic, Turkish, Spanish, French and English.
